Of all the reasons people have sex, the most underrated is pity sex. Sure, love, lust, and liquid courage get all the glory, but there's something oddly noble about tossing someone a bone out of sheer compassion. It's like charity work, but without the tax deductions or photo ops. Think about it: the lonely widow who can't find her soul mate, but jealous about your happiness? You just turned her dreams into a reality. Pity sex is where altruism meets anatomy, a merger of mercy and hormones. And while it may not win you awards, it can at least earn you a "Thanks, I really needed that" text, which, honestly, is the MVP of post-coital feedback. Pity sex isn't a relationship starter, but hey, it's great for raising self-esteem -- one thrust at a time.